How I lost 44lbs…
Loosing weight has been a very personal and important issue for me. A lot of people have been asking me what I’ve been doing. Well here it is.. not quite in a nutshell..
Here it is: 1)Portion control 2)Water 3)Exercise … wait… what?! You mean do everything that doctors always told you to do? HAH, I know! However I’m going to share a few tips with those of you who are looking to start loosing significant amounts of weight. These tips are meant for people who are like me. People with a significant amount to loose, emotional eaters or food addicts.
First things first, this is a lifestyle change. NOT a diet. Sure you will be changing your diet, but that’s just one part of what you will be doing. Remember you need to be 100% committed to a new lifestyle change or else it wont happen. Give it a few days, a month, a few months but eventually you’ll go back to old habits if you’re not 100% committed. Believe me.
The first thing I’m going to tell you is, is that most of what you see on T.V is true. You CAN loose weight while eating whatever you want. But it sucks. You CAN loose weight eating nothing but pizza. (that’s where portion control comes in). But it’s hard. From an “emotional eater” point of view, it’s absolute agony to be counting calories when you’re trying to eat pizza. When you want pizza you want the WHOLE DAMN THING. Or at least enough to make you full. That’s what always got me about emotional eating. Is that I was not satisfied until I was full. Now you might start a diet and start calorie counting and you’re constantly depressed because if you’re like me, you want to feel “full”. Well I’ll tell you about that soon.
Okay I’m getting off track here. Lets start at how to get you started. The first thing you need to do is assess your environment. Are the cupboards filled with junk? Who brings home the junk? Do you live close to fast food? Do co-workers bring junk to share at work? Make a list of areas where you could possibly “fail”. I’m serious. You don’t want you to start, and just fail the next day because of something you can’t control, because of something else that affects you. Now you need to come up with ways to remove these from your environment. If you live with family members then you need to set them all down and let them know that you can’t have them bringing junk food around you anymore. Not in the cupboards, not even in their bedrooms. (If you’re like me you’d find their stash and munch a few…). You’re about to enter in to over-eating rehab and you can’t be given a chance to fail. You need to let them know how important it is that they’re all in on this. Remember this is a matter of life or death. Eating unhealthily is bad for everyone whether they’re overweight or not. You have to let people know that your life and their future with you could depend on how you eat. The first few weeks are critical to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Just as you tried to give your children the perfect environment to grow up in, it’s now your families turn to return the favor and help you create a supportive environment for you. Don’t just shrug this step off. It’s critical that you do this.
Now what about at work? Where I work there is a restaurant next door, a pizza place two doors down, and two fast food places across the parking lot. The hardest part about loosing weight is the accessibility of unhealthy food. If I forget my lunch at home, then there aren’t many options out there. Some people say to rely on “will power”. Well when you’re an addict will power doesn’t have anything to do with it. Anyways.. Make sure you make a lunch every single day. So that way you’re not tempted to eat out. What if you forget your lunch? Well Keep a stash of healthy food at work. Keep a tin of nuts or pretzels at work. Or better yet, take a five minute drive to the grocery and buy an apple and water to go with it too. Or even buy a lean cuisine. They’re not especially healthy for you, but the point is, is to STAY AWAY from these fast food places. You go once and you’ll crave it again. Guaranteed.
Tips:
1) Toss anything that is quick to make or grab & eat. No more pizza pockets, no more Kraft Dinner, no ice cream. If you’re an emotional eater or addicted then this type of food is lethal. The only grab & go food you should have is fruit and veggies. If you’re okay with the packages of 100 calorie snacks then those are fine. But even I had to toss those out because I would eat the whole box because I could.
2) Find yourself going to buy snacks anyways even though you brought a healthy lunch? Leave your money at home! Or give your debit/credit card to someone you trust.
3) It’s alright to have bad days. You just need a back up plan and someone you can trust. I could never loose weight without the support of my husband. When I’m having an especially bad day, he’ll take my debit/credit cards (even spare change laying around the house cause you know it doesn’t take much money to buy chips!) and then he’ll make a healthy supper. It’s amazing how having support really helps. Remember you just need to make it through one meal at a time.
4) Plan your meals. If you take out chicken the night before for supper, then you’re more inclined to not “waste” the chicken by eating out.
5) Sit at the table to eat and eat slowly. If you’re an emotional eater/addict then you need to learn to really appreciate your food. Sit back and think about what you’re eating. Think of the flavour, the texture the healthiness of it. If you sit at the couch at eat while watching TV you don’t have even time to recognize that you’re eating. If you’re a mental eater then it’s even worse. You’re not taking time to check eating off your mental check-list. Basically, make meal time important to you.
6) Find out the healthy facts about what you’re eating. Is your meal full of Vitamin C? Then look it up and find out exactly does for your body. It’s amazing how much better you feel about your food when you know exactly what it does! Do you subscribe to readers digest? Did you know that in every issue they talk about a new food item? Look it up at readersdigest.ca
Okay, so now you have a heat start on changing your physical environment. That’s GREAT, but what about the emotional aspect? Well you need a support group plain and simple. You need people you can relate to and you need people to go to when you have questions. If you can’t think of anyone, then you’re wrong. You know ME. You can call me day or night, because I know this is hard. Even zip me a line on Facebook if you have a question. I don’t always know the answers but I might be able to point you in the right direction. A great site (one that I recommend to EVERYONE) is www.sparkpeople.com. It tracks your food and fitness level, plus there are lots of articles on everything! Even recipes! There are also a lot of support groups for every type of person.
Okay, so you worked out your environment and you know where to go if you have questions or a problem. But where do you start now? What foods to buy, which ones to avoid? What about exercise? Well that’s why I recommend Spark People. They give you meal plans and easy starter work outs. However it can be a bit daunting. Here are a few more tips to get you started:
Tips:
1) Eat Chicken. Not just any kind of chicken, but chicken breast. It’s lower in fat than other meats and high in protein. Also Turkey breast is great too. (make sure the label reads “breast” on it to get the best meat. Ive boughten turkey that just read “turkey meat”. That stuff is usually higher in fat than the breast. Also never buy chicken with the skin on it.
2) Get rid of your ketchup and bbq sauce. Okay, you don’t HAVE to, but seriously there is a lot of sugar and calories in ketchup & bbq sauce. Use Mustard. Everyone has it and it’s lower in calories.
3) Start by making healthier alternatives of your favourite food. Switch to “low sodium” versions of soups etc.
4) Read the labels of the food your buying. You DO NOT want anything with Trans fats in it! You don’t even want Saturated fats! You want healthy fats in your foods. You want foods with EFA’s (essential fatty acids) or Omega’s.
5) Get rid of your oils and buy Extra Virgin Olive Oil. This oil can be expensive, so the next best kind is Canola Oil. I use Canola for baking and Olive oil for everything else.
5) Eat Whole Grain everything! Whole grain rice, whole wheat bread. You do not want “enriched white flour” in the ingredients list.
6) Drink Water! It’s amazing how much better you feel when you drink 8 cups of water a day. This one is so important I should have made it #1!! Some people do not like to drink the full 8cups a day because they pee too much. Well you have to expect that for the first week or so. What happens is, is that your body was starved for water before so it stored some (water weight!). When you start drinking more water your body goes “WTF?! holy water batman!” and it panics and starts to get rid of all your water weight. After about a week your body will regulate itself and you wont have to pee so often. Cool hey?
7) Follow Canada’s Food guide. http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/fn-an/food-guide-aliment/order-commander/index-eng.php#1 Seriously, it’s there for a reason.
Count your calories! I know some people watch the fat they consume, some watch carbs, well I’m telling you that you also need to count your calories! It’s important to know how many your burning and how many you’re consuming. (Also watching fats, carbs etc is a very good idea!)
9) Eat Fruit/Veggies and eat LOTS! A woman needs 7-8 Servings a day (Men need 8-10!!). This is where the Canadian Food guide is good, you can determine exactly how big a serving size is!
10) Okay, so you ate your 2 1/2 oz serving of chicken and 1/2 cup (cooked) Whole Grain Rice. “That wasn’t much food, I’m so hungry!!” Well, that was my downfall in my previous diet attempts earlier. There are a few things wrong with this. First of all.. are you actually eating enough? Make sure you are eating enough calories. A healthy woman should be eating up to 1500 calories, but you if you weigh 280lbs you should probably be eating more, even if you’re trying to loose weight. You don’t want to starve yourself! If you starve yourself you end up gaining weight. Your body does a mini freak out and starts saving all that food as fat for a rainy day. But that’s not all.. what else is wrong with this meal? How about.. Vegetables? With this meal I would eat 1.5-2 cups of steamed vegetables. If that’s not enough to fill you up, then have that glass of water that you should have with every meal!
11) Although I have not done it myself, I do recommend visiting a dietitian. Obviously they could shed much more light on what you should/should not do.
12) No More Soda! I know I’m bad with this one and I struggle daily with this one. An easy switch however is to switch to coffee or sugarless Iced Tea.. Also, a great tip Sarah gave me was this: Every time she had one cup of pop, she would match it with one cup of water.
13) Celebrate your weight loss like you just won the Stanley Cup! OMG YOU LOST 2 LBS!! YAY! Facebook me and I’ll congratulate you! You need to be praised, because it’s hard to loose weight. There is so much more to loosing weight than “just 2lbs lost”. It’s mental also.
14) Make sure when you read the label on the products you buy, you know exactly what every ingredient is. You’ve probably seen this on TV a million times but it’s true. If you don’t know what it is, then don’t buy it. Even frozen fruit can have preservatives in it! Also, although I’m an advocate for Splenda as a zero calorie alternative, don’t use it excessively. Seriously, if you need sugar use Honey, it’s full of anti-oxidants and it’s natural.
15) Avoid Creamy sauces. This includes salad dressings (such as Caesar dressing etc), Hollandaise sauce, Alfredo sauce etc. Use vinaigrette’s instead for salad dressing. What I really reccomend is making your own. That way you know exactly what’s in it and you can change it to suit your tastes! If that’s not possible, then use Kraft calorie-wise dressings to begin with.
16) Get rid of all the pasta in your cupboard. Especially if it’s not whole wheat pasta. Pasta is extremelly high in calories. A healthier alternative is whole grain rice.
17) Things like “Spinach pasta” or “60% whole grain” are just ways to trick you, don’t give in!
18) Buy in bulk. It’s cheaper. Personally I go to Costco and buy either the huge bags of frozen fruit and veggies or I buy fresh and cut them up and freeze them. It’s cheaper than buying small amounts at the grocery.
19) Know your body. Do you have diabetes in your family? How about heart disease? These issues are Extremely serious and the odds of getting these go up if you’re obese. Find out what you need to do to avoid these. Also, if you use spark people then you know what you’re lacking. Are you getting enough Iron?
20) Use a supplement. Whatever you’re not getting from your diet you need to supplement. Especially if you’re a young woman of child-bearing age, or pregnant.
21) No more butter/margarine. Okay, I use it occasionally sure. Make sure it’s the healthiest kind you can find. It’s easy to go over in calories/fats when you use butter/margarine. Also, if you use Olive Oil with cooking, make sure you track it, that stuff might be good for you, but it also is high in calories.
22) Track every little morsel of food that goes in your mouth! If you dip into the chocolate chips and eat a teaspoon full then you need to track it! Just as in #21 it’s easy to go over your calorie limit with little things here and there.
23) Dont use salt. Find other ways, creative ways to spice up your food. Once you cut out salt, after a few weeks you will find that your food starts to taste better. Your taste buds are no longer “numbed” anymore by too much salt! It’s amazing to eat just plain fruit and to say “WOW, why didn’t these taste so good when I was younger?!” It’s probably because your palate has been too numbed by excess salt! Food will taste great if you get rid of it.
24) Dont make too much food. Only make what you will eat for that meal. Especially if you have a tendancy to get up and eat in the evenings. For a snack you should be having fruit or an ounce of cheese, not another meal! Don’t worry about not making enough food, because if you plan ahead of time you will know how much to make. If you’re still not full have more veggies and some water.
25) Try to stay away from high calorie starchy foods.. like potatoes, corn and bananas. I’ve heard that a good alternative to mashed potatoes is cauliflower!
26) Put yourself in a situation where you’re more likely to work-out. Let me guess, you already own a treadmill and you never use it? Well have a work-out party! Invite a bunch of girls over to watch a cheesy 90’s work out video and serve veggies! If you are at home alone or around people who are not working out, chances are you wont either.
26) Don’t expect anyone to always help you. Sure, you can rely on your support team, but in the end its you that needs to get up and do it. Don’t wait for your friend to call you to see if you want to work out, go do it!
Now there is exercise. I’m not really the one to talk to about exercise. However what I can tell you is that you do NEED it. To have a healthy heart to to loose weight you need Cardio workouts. Cardio works out your heart and burns fat. What does that mean? Well that means that you need to get your heart rate up. Hop on the treadmill, eliptical, go for a run. Remember, it has to get your heart rate up! Simply dancing around the house or strength training does not help your heart. Like I said, I’m not the work-out master, I reccomend talking Sarah or better yet, go to a gym and talk to a trainer!
The Down Low:
1) Change your environment
2) Get support and back up plans
3) Know what your body needs and what it’s getting
4) Get your heart rate up!
Did you know…
- Take the amount of weight that you’ve lost and times that by 4. Thanks how much pressure has been taken off of your knees! (I’ve lost 44lbs. So 44×4=176lbs of pressure taken off of my knees!)
- If you’re obese you need to loose 10% of your weight to start drastically improving your health (and riding the chance of cancer, heart disease and diabetes!)
Seriously there are probably a ton of things that I’ve missed and probably a few things that I’ve gotten wrong. Please leave a comment, especially if I’m giving someone advice that is clearly wrong or unhealthy. Like I said, I’m here if anybody needs help. I’d also like to thank MY support team: Dan and Sarah!!
Also, I really need to say this, all of these apply just to maintain a healthy lifestyle, not just to loose weight. If you want to live healthy then these (in my opinion) are some tips.
Only 66.
So.. I’m thinking that maybe, just maybe I should do a blog post.
Here is a little re-cap of the past few months..
My Grandma on my Dads side was diagnosed with Cancer a few months ago. I don’t remember exactly when, but not too long ago.. maybe in May? Anyways, her Cancer was caused by Acid Reflux. Basically she didn’t take the proper medication (or maybe she did) and her esophogus was burned from the acid. It mutated the cells in her throat and eventually developed into cancer. From there it spread to her stomach. They gave her 6-12months to live.
Close to the end of June she was scheduled for surgery to remove her esophogus and part of her stomach. They told her that she would no longer be able to eat, and that there was a chance that she’d never talk again. Once they opened her up, they realized that the cancer was much more advanced than they had anticipated. They placed a metal tube in her esophogus because the cancer had started closing off her throat, then they closed her back up without removing anything. They found that the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes and was rapidly spreading all over her body. It was too late to do anything. She was given 2-3 months to live, however only my aunt and uncle knew this, they hadn’t told anybody, including her yet.
At the end of June I went to visit her. She looked pretty good for just having her torso opened up! She had lost some weight, but overall her sense of humour was still there and she looked like normal. We had a great time visiting her whenever she was up to it. When I left, I promised her that I would come back and visit her after my vacation at the end of August. This time I would bring Dan.
In the middle/end of July I got a call from my Dad saying they had admitted her to the hospital. She had blood clots in her legs that they had to get rid of. Then she was admitted again a while after because the blood-clot meds where making her throw up blood. At this time things where looking more and more grim. At that time her nurse had confirmed that she did only have 2-3months max. So I had rushed down that weekend to see her. (We also had our Family reunion planned for that weekend there, so everyone else was already down). She was released from the hospital that friday. We arrived Friday night, but she was already in bed for the night. I woke up Saturday morning with my dad hovering over us, saying that he needed the car keys. Grandma was sick and they needed to rush her to the hospital again.
Nobody really told us what was going on at the hospital, but we kept getting phone calls all day from the hospital. Eventually more and more people kept leaving for the hospital. Then we got a call that everyone, Grandchildren included had to pack up asap and head for the hospital. Once there we all filed into her room. We all knew it was to say Goodbye. She still looked normal to me. Just sleeping. Except her hands looked bruised, like they stabbed her with her IV. But I knew that wasn’t why they where purple. She was cold. I’m guessing it was lack of oxygen because her lungs where so cancer-ridden. Or low circulation. Either way it was eerie. We stayed for a few hours, then headed back to my aunts acherage for the night. My dad, and all of my aunts and uncles stayed behind.
She passed away on Sunday morning at approximately 9:30am with all of her Children around her. Us grandchildren only knew this because soon after everyone came driving up to the house. That only meant one thing. There was no more reason for them to stay at the hospital.
You know, I have a strange family. Or rather, my family has strange ways to deal with stress and sadness. Ways that are familiar and sadly comforting to me. Things that I’ve learned from them that make me who I am today. The minute they all filed in, there was an eerie silence. So I piped up, “does anyone want breakfast?”. And so it began. The house was busy with all 25+ people trying to get into the kitchen to help with breakfast. I mean, they all acted like breakfast was serious business. We needed food, and we needed it now. Eventually some people wandered away to be alone, but the majority of us stayed around the kitchen to do anything. Cut cheese, toast the bread, anything. Then.. the baileys was passed around for the coffee. Oy vey. I was shocked at how comfortable I was with these coping mechanisms. Food and Baileys. I didn’t have any baileys mind you, and I limited my breakfast. But goes to show where I get these coping mechanisms from. Pretty much engrained into my genes!
As soon as breakfast was over, we started preparing for lunch, and discussing plans for supper. The WHOLE entire day was compromised of food, or discussing food. When to dig up the potatoes, when to start making the salads. When to take out the meat. It was insane. There wasn’t a single moment in the day when the table didn’t have some sort of food on it. I mean, my family loves to eat, but this was crazy.
Anyways, I now blame being fat on my family. We love food. And we’re all fat, go figure. And we almost all have diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Maybe now I can set an example. I DO NOT have to be distined to have diabetes. That’s the big one in my family. I do not have to die as young as my Grandma. She was only 66!
I’ve never been to a funeral before. I don’t know how to describe them, but if I had to describe hers, I would say it was “beautiful”. She was a beautiful woman, and her story was told beautifully. Nearly 300 people showed up. I don’t know if that’s a lot of people, but it sure felt like it.
Anyways, I don’t ever want to go through that again. I’m so glad I’m taking charge with my life. Lately it’s been hard, and I havn’t lost any weight in the past few months. Infact I feel like crap, but I’ve also had a lot to deal with. It’s a a bloody miracle that I havn’t gained all that weight back already.
Well bye for now, gotta get ready for work!
Dream time.
I’m going to share with you guys a dream I had a few days ago…
All I remember is.. there are about 15 people sitting in a circle outside on folding chairs at a Christian retreat. I distinctly remember sitting with Dan on my left, beside him was my friends Sarah and Megan. Beside them was the camp leader. A big man with white hair and a white beard. A very gentle looking man.
As we’re sitting in the circle I notice we’re all holding plain white envelopes. He instructs us that if we want to recive Christ as our saviour then we must toss the envelope into these bowls at our feet. It’s then that I notice the bowls each have fire in them. We’re burning whatever was in the letter. (I have no idea what was in my envelope, if anything at all). He starts by throwing his into the fire. Then Sarah tosses hers in.. Megan holds on to hers and shakes her head. Everyone in the group nods. We all know that she’s just here to learn about Christianity, not to make any commitments. Then my husband tosses his envelope in, in a moment of panic I shake my head and hold onto my envelope. I don’t like doing things because it’s expected, and I don’t like “proving” my christianity in such ways. Everyone in the group gasps and is in total shock. I sputter out an excuse like “I want to learn more before I commit”. Then I get up and walk out of the group, Dan and the leader following me.
I turn to Dan and appologize for not throwing my letter in. He grabs my hand and nods and says with a grin, “it’s okay, I understand. Take your time.” That’s when the camp leader comes around, with a look of fury on his face.
“You have no idea what you’ve done!” he bellowed
“wha? I just need time!” I say back.
“this isn’t just about you.” he replies then looks over to Dan. “Let me show you what I mean.” He goes behind Dan, so we’re in a line, they’re both facing me. He takes out two pins and holds one at Dans shoulder but not touching him, then holds the other one to his shoulder. He jabs himself with the pin and at that moment Dan jumps and grabs his shoulder as if he’d been jabbed in the shoulder too. Then he hold the pin over my shoulder and Dans shoulder and jabs me. Nothing happens to Dan.
I begin to cry at the realization.
“THIS is what it means to be together with Christ! THIS is what YOU can do for your husband!” He shouted. Then I woke up.
Weird.
No..
I havn’t forgotten about my blog. I just post on my sparkpeople blog WAY more often than here. Weight lost is such a big focus right now so that is where I blog. The more I do on that website the easier it is for me to keep it up. However I like to blog here when my brain isn’t working right.. or.. yeah. It’s been awhile hasn’t it?
To date I’ve lost 30.4lbs. Another 154.6 more lbs to go to hit my ideal weight. I’ve moved my BMI from a freaky 49.5 (it dosn’t go any higher than 50!!) to 45. I’ve also removed 128lbs of pressure from my knees. (Take your weight loss and times it by 4 to get that number). I’ve also lost 9.55% of my starting weight. You need to loose 10% of your weight to start drastically improving your health. I’m almost there! Obviously I’m not a health professional but I’ve read a lot online, so hopefully there is truth in these number. God how I love numbers and facts, it makes it easier to understand. I’ve also lost almost two pants sizes. I only own one pair of jeans that fit (and BOY do they look HOT!) and one pair of black work pants. Annoying but great at the same time!
—-
I found out last week that my Grandma has throat cancer. She zipped off to Saskatoon to see a specialist and now she’s scheduled for surgery in about a month. They’re going to have 3 surgeons working on her. They’re going to remove half of her stomach and her esophogous. They figure she’ll still be able to eat and talk. I’m not sure but I think it’s also spread to her lymph nodes. We all know what that means. Well okay.. if you don’t… the lymph nodes.. basically from what I understand/remember from biology class.. are like intersections in your bodies internal superhighway. The cancer will easily spread from her lymph nodes to any and every part of her body. That’s why it’s bad to get a lymph node infection aswell. So.. anyways I don’t remember if she has it in her lymph nodes or not, I quit listening partway through my sister telling me. I just heard “lymph nodes” and went AWW CRAP. 
We will be going to visit my Grandma after surgery. She’ll be recovering in the hospital for a few weeks, I’m sure she’ll need lots of company. Not only that but on of her sisters isn’t supposed to live more than a week. She also has cancer.
Good thing I’m on a track to get healthier. All of my great-aunts are either sick/have cancer. Being aboriginal stacks the odds against me.
—-
My headspace this past little bit has just plain old sucked. I can’t stand the thought of working in fucking retail for the rest of my life. I can’t even stand the thought of working in it for much longer. I’m done. Time to change things. Well okay, maybe not. We finally have a little bit of money now. Enough to pay all the bills and enough to buy all the groceries we need for once. I know if I quit.. that’ll go away. I just can’t help but notice how much happier I was when I didn’t work. All morning yesterday I was anxious because I knew I was going to work. How dumb. I felt so tired and sad. It’s so dumb because.. I CHOSE this job. It was handed to me. I told everyone that I missed it and wanted to go back. What the hell is wrong with me for not wanting it…again? It really isn’t a bad job, a monkey could do it. Even though I always feel like I’m screwing up. Maybe I just hate having a schedule. I hate that I could be called in to work anytime. That I have to bargain to get certain days off. It seems ludacris to me. I hate savouring my not-quite enough two days off. I also realize that some people work 5-7 days a week for 12 hours a day. I feel like a stupid lazy weakling. I really wish I could stay at home. I’m such a suck, LOL. I was also healthier and happier, and lost more weight when I had more time at home. I’m so dramatic, OMG.
—-
UGH, so much is going through my head. I feel stupid for wanting to stay home. I feel lazy. But I’m SO unhappy with the way things are right now. It’s rediculous! The only thing I can do is just suck it up. I can’t go anywhere with my job, may as well get comfortable.
—-
Well anyways, life is hard Daph. Get used to it girl! See pep-talks always work better with a big burger cheering for me too. *sigh*
Cya’ll later when my brain makes a little more sense!
Daph
Ch-ch-ch-changes!
Today I’m off to get my Criminal Record check for work. It’s a requirement for the assistant manager position. I’m not sure how it’ll work with my married name. Or if I go by my maiden name. Maybe I should bring my Marriage license along… *sigh* this is confusing!
As of today it’s been one month since I started eating healthier. As of Sunday I have lost 15lbs!! That is a little bit more than you’re supposed to loose in a month, but only by 3lbs. So that’s not too bad! I’ve noticed a bit of a difference in my clothes, which is fascinating. You know that pair of jeans that you bought so long ago and they where a bit tight and you figured they’d loosen up once you wore them? You know the ones.. where you have to lie down on the bed and suck in to do them up? Well I don’t have to lie down and suck in to pull them on! They’re still a bit tight, but I don’t have to dance around the bedroom any more to get them on!
Oh! Sarah came down this weekend! She came down and (attempted..) to surprise me at home or work, but I was at my moms. At first I was stressed (boy do I stress out easily!). Why? All of a sudden someone wanted to come over, hang out. I had no warning. No time to clean, no time to plan what I was going to do with my laundry, etc. I’m not sure when I became this way, but once I have something planned in my head I get either stressed/pissed off when something changes it. So I had my little mental hissy fit of being thrown into something that I hadn’t planned, then I got over myself! (Don’t worry Sarah, I’m SO glad you came down!!) It was great to hang out with all the girls like old times. Actually it was better than old times because there was signifcantly less bitchiness/bitching and more carefree fun! ( *gasp* are we growing up?!) Sure my apartment still holds the wrath of a bunch of young women (I’m finding remnants of our midnight nachos everywhere!) but it was fun!
A month or two ago I would have been VERY stressed that people where coming over and I had less than a days notice. (Don’t ask me why things like that stress me out, I have no idea). I would have been bitchy all day until they got there, then I would have fun. But not this time. I think taking control of my diet, and taking control of my mind when it comes to food is helping me take mental control in other areas of my life. I still feel so happy to know that out of all the things I can’t control, I can control my diet. Strange no?
Anywhoo, I have to actually get ready for work! As hope said in her blog, I get to work!
Excited!
The Assistant Manager at EB left last week. He wasn’t a bad guy buy any means. I know I was frustrated with him in my last post. The store had gone to shit while he’d taken over. However he was a nice guy; a gentleman really, and he was great with customers. He could tell you what game you’re looking for before you even know it. But he wasn’t assistant manager material, and I think he knew it. The other girl who was working there has also left. She was booted out of her parents place by her stepfather apparently and moved away.
Where does that leave the store? Well the temp manager has totally changed the store around. He didn’t get all his work done so he came back this week, and he came back with another manager to help him. Not only that be we hired 3 new people. We hired a contract manager to act as manager until our real manager is back from paternity leave, we hired a guy I used to work with years ago at EB, and a new guy. (Who is WAY weird.. but nice albeit). Also, another guy we where worried about gave his notice yesterday. He’s a hard worker, but his attitude sucks.
I have to say that it’s been a really long time since I’ve been so happy to have a job. Now, I would stay at home in a heartbeat if I could, but EB is just way to exciting for me. I’m such a nerd! I actually was restless on my lunch break because I wanted to get back out there and work. Isn’t that crazy?! I just hope it lasts. Nay, I pray it lasts. I also pray that I can do my best for this job, and that I can always be excited about it!
Working gal
So I started my new job (again..) at EB Games last Tuesday. I’m not really sure how to describe my first few days there… Well, I left the first day and I was very upset. I couldn’t sleep that night because I as so anxious and stressed. Why? Well, let me see… I walked in, and I got no instruction. None. The assistant manager just assumed I would walk in and get to work. I kid you not. He says “So, I’m going in the back to do work.. you remember how everything works right?”.
“Uhh.. no” I say
“Well.. it’s only been a year..” he replies (with quite a shocked look on his face).
“No, I’ve been gone for two years Brian.” I reply, a bit angrily I might add.
At least when he went to the back to work I wasn’t by myself. There was another girl with me. But they never did actually show me the tills. The first time I used the till was when the assistant manager was on his lunch break, and the other girl decided it was a great time to take the deposit to the bank and leave me all alone on the floor for about half an hour. So I just guessed at how the till worked. I picked it up pretty quick, it was familiar, but damn if I couldn’t remember everything. But..it gets better..
When I get to my lunch break I go to use the bathroom.. I walk in and almost puke. The toilet is covered in something orangey-yellow, and it’s totally surrounded by used paper towel and toilet paper. There is a paper moat around the toilet. I’m guessing nobody had taken out the garbage in quite some time. The sink was worse for wear too. It was blaaack. When I got home that night, I was really thinking that when I saw that bathroom, I really should have just walked out and said “Screw it!”. (Yes, *I* was the one who ended up cleaning the bathroom, toilet and all on my next shift)
Today was the second day that the district manager was in. I don’t know how long the current assistant manager will be there. He left the store crying actually. (Mostly from the DM, but also his cousin had died, so rough day for the guy). I had talked to the DM and pipped up about an assistant manager position, he said he would consider it. Now THAT shocked me. When I was hired back, they told me that I WOULD be ASM, they just put me in the system as “Full-time” employee until they could get the paperwork through. Now they are just “considering” it?
Now I’m wondering why I left my other job. It had fewer hours, yes. But it was clean, efficient, paid more, and I had made some friends. Okay, I know why I left the other job, but still. What have I done?
There is a temp manager staying up just for the week to help clean it up. So hopefully it gets running better, and I suppose I could hope like crazy for the ASM position even though I know I’m not really in the running anymore. There is another guy who works there who is being considered. He’d be okay at it too. He’s okay with working hard and constantly, he knows everything he needs to, and he’s currently employed; he’s not new. I would have to re-learn everything, why do that when you already have someone who’s just as capable, plus knows what’s currently going on promotion-wise and store-wise. So now I’m stuck at a dirtier job that pays less. Working my butt off no less.
I really hope a promising job pops up soon (ha! didn’t I say that right before this one came along?). I want maybe a retail-less job? Any ideas anyone? *sigh*
Job opportunities
So it looks like within about 2 months I’ll be an assistant manager (again) at EB Games. At first I was very excited. Why? Because we needed the money. It was an answer to my prayers, to have enough money to pay the bills and make ends meet. When I kneeled down and prayed I didn’t make specifications to a job I’d like (okay, that’s a wee bit of a lie) I mostly just asked that something ANYTHING would come up. Well it did, and now I feel trapped.
Okay, let me rephrase all of this. I am absolutely and totally grateful that I have a job. A Full Time job that I know, co-workers that I know, and a job that I liked before. But I feel trapped in retail. I feel so out of my comfort zone a lot of times in retail.
Most people who know me, know that I can be very traditional, and I’m very set in my ways when it comes to how I think people should act. When I have angry or rude customers in my store I’m flabbergasted that anyone could be so rude to someone else. (What’s the point in being so rude anyways?!). It shakes me to the core, and I take it WAY to personally. Which I realize a lot of jobs are like that, but this job is based solely on interacting with strangers and making them happy. I even have to do it when they blatantly are rude to me, and my place of work.
Ideally I want a job where I don’t interact or have “customers”. Because “customers” feel like they have the right to walk all over you some days. Or they take out their stress on you, which can build up. I know they can’t (or I “shouldn’t”) affect my feelings, but it does; I let it happen. I really wanted (and some days still do) to be a paelontologist. (Also a missionary.. but that kind of bit the dust, more of a fantasy now). Do you know how many “customers” paelontologists have? None thank you very much! Sure they might have to impress the boss, or a financial supporter. Thats politics though. I think I can handle that, it’s more civilized. (hah!)
I do like EB Games though. But if I ever do get frustrated and quit, what do I do? Well..find another retail job I guess, cause that’s what I’m good at. No, I can’t sell you your own shoes.. I’m just nice, and efficient. Work done + a smile. That’s me.
Spark!
Even when the whole world feels chaotic and stressful, there is something that I can control. I can control what I eat. This sounds silly, but for me it’s a revelation I had the other day. I have a little bit of peace in the fact that I can control what I eat and when I eat it.
Speaking of controlling what I eat.. I’ve lost 5lbs this week and I have more energy than I have had all year.
I joined this new website called SparkPeople. It’s a weight loss/management and health site. It has some features the same as Facebook. Such as status updates, and your own page, and you can send treats or “goodies” to each other. But the main purpose is to be heathly, and to make healthy and informed decisions. It tracks your weight, size measurements, nutrition (calories, carbs, protein, vitamins EVERYTHIHNG!), exercise mintues. A lot of people look down on this kind of thing. Saying that when you look at the scale it can rule your life. Well absolutely it can! For me it’s a good thing. For others it’s not, it’s depressing.
I obsessively track the food I eat. I think it’s absolutely the coolest thing ever. To know how much calories are in everything! It tells me how much calories, vitamins, carbs, fat, protein (and MANY more) I should be getting and then when I enter in what I ate, I then know where I’m lacking. If I should find a way to up my calcium maybe, or protein, and then I know by how much I should do it! It’s science. I was telling Dan, that oddly enough, I was more interested in seeing how different things I ate affected me. Loosing weight is a side effect. I want to see the other reactions of eating healthy. Like I’m in my own petri dish. It makes me all warm and fuzzy! (Pun intended)
It also has a recipe calculator. What you do is enter in your own favourite recipe and it automatically brings up a nutrition chart, just like what on products in the grocery store. That way you don’t have to eat specific meal plans (which they can make for you according to your diet needs!), you can make your own food, and still know what you’re getting out of it. Fabulous!
Well that’s my blurb for today!
