Set Me Free

I havn’t forgotten about my blog.  I just post on my sparkpeople blog WAY more often than here.  Weight lost is such a big focus right now so that is where I blog.  The more I do on that website the easier it is for me to keep it up.  However I like to blog here when my brain isn’t working right.. or.. yeah.  It’s been awhile hasn’t it?

To date I’ve lost 30.4lbs.  Another 154.6 more lbs to go to hit my ideal weight.  I’ve moved my BMI from a freaky 49.5 (it dosn’t go any higher than 50!!) to 45.  I’ve also removed 128lbs of pressure from my knees.  (Take your weight loss and times it by 4 to get that number).  I’ve also lost 9.55% of my starting weight.  You need to loose 10% of your weight to start drastically improving your health.  I’m almost there!  Obviously I’m not a health professional but I’ve read a lot online, so hopefully there is truth in these number.  God how I love numbers and facts, it makes it easier to understand.  I’ve also lost almost two pants sizes.  I only own one pair of jeans that fit (and BOY do they look HOT!) and one pair of black work pants.  Annoying but great at the same time!

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I found out last week that my Grandma has throat cancer.  She zipped off to Saskatoon to see a specialist and now she’s scheduled for surgery in about a month.  They’re going to have 3 surgeons working on her.  They’re going to remove half of her stomach and her esophogous.  They figure she’ll still be able to eat and talk.  I’m not sure but I think it’s also spread to her lymph nodes.  We all know what that means.  Well okay.. if you don’t… the lymph nodes.. basically from what I understand/remember from biology class.. are like intersections in your bodies internal superhighway.  The cancer will easily spread from her lymph nodes to any and every part of her body.  That’s why it’s bad to get a lymph node infection aswell.  So.. anyways I don’t remember if she has it in her lymph nodes or not, I quit listening partway through my sister telling me.  I just heard “lymph nodes” and went AWW CRAP.  

We will be going to visit my Grandma after surgery.  She’ll be recovering in the hospital for a few weeks, I’m sure she’ll need lots of company.  Not only that but on of her sisters isn’t supposed to live more than a week.  She also has cancer.

Good thing I’m on a track to get healthier.  All of my great-aunts are either sick/have cancer.  Being aboriginal stacks the odds against me.

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My headspace this past little bit has just plain old sucked.  I can’t stand the thought of working in fucking retail for the rest of my life.  I can’t even stand the thought of working in it for much longer.  I’m done.  Time to change things.  Well okay, maybe not.  We finally have a little bit of money now.  Enough to pay all the bills and enough to buy all the groceries we need for once.  I know if I quit.. that’ll go away.  I just can’t help but notice how much happier I was when I didn’t work.  All morning yesterday I was anxious because I knew I was going to work.  How dumb.  I felt so tired and sad.  It’s so dumb because.. I CHOSE this job.  It was handed to me.  I told everyone that I missed it and wanted to go back.  What the hell is wrong with me for not wanting it…again?  It really isn’t a bad job, a monkey could do it.  Even though I always feel like I’m screwing up.  Maybe I just hate having a schedule.  I hate that I could be called in to work anytime.  That I have to bargain to get certain days off.  It seems ludacris to me.  I hate savouring my not-quite enough two days off.  I also realize that some people work 5-7 days a week for 12 hours a day.  I feel like a stupid lazy weakling.  I really wish I could stay at home.  I’m such a suck, LOL.  I was also healthier and happier, and lost more weight when I had more time at home.  I’m so dramatic, OMG.

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UGH, so much is going through my head.  I feel stupid for wanting to stay home.  I feel lazy.  But I’m SO unhappy with the way things are right now.  It’s rediculous!  The only thing I can do is just suck it up.  I can’t go anywhere with my job, may as well get comfortable.

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Well anyways, life is hard Daph.  Get used to it girl!  See pep-talks always work better with a big burger cheering for me too.  *sigh*

Cya’ll later when my brain makes  a little more sense!

Daph

“Throwing Fire” — Re-Uploaded (better audio this time!)

I *still* <3 Ronald Jenkees!

So I tried a new recipe last night and it was delicious!  I did substitute some ingredients though.

Zesty Chicken and Rice Skillet

1/2 cup Fat Free Italian Dressing *(I used 1/2 package of Clubhouse italian dressing mix)

1tbsp. Dijon Mustard *(You can use regular mustard)

1 lb. Boneless, Skinless chicken cubed

1 Chicken Bouillon cube, dissolved in 1 3/4cups boiling water. *(I used 1 3/4cup chicken broth instead)

2cups Red or Green peppers chopped

2cups Brown quick-cook rice, uncooked *(I used white rice, but brown is much meatier)

Mix 1/4Cup of dressing and mustard in a large skillet on Med-High heat.  Add Chicken; cook until chicken is thuroughly cooked stirring occasionally.

Stir in remaining dressing, bouillon and peppers; cover.  Simmer about 2 minutes or until heated through.  Stir in uncooked rice; cover.  Simmer about 5 minutes or until rice is tender.  Remove from heat; let stand until liquid is absorbed.

Servings: 4

217.5 Calories/serving

With the italian dressing mix you add your own vinegar, and with the vinegar, mustard and peppers it comes out a bit acidic, so it might be best to use like.. kraft italian dressing.  However this was an amazing meal!  Tonight I’m making another chicken dish.  I have to remember to take pictures!

Wow, it’s crazy to think that 2 years ago today was the day we got engaged.  I can’t believe it’s been that long!  That had to be one of the best days of my life for sure.  The previous weekend we had decided to go on a date on St.Patricks day.  A big date, doing whatever we wanted.  Usually when that happens something happens, like.. the restaurant is crowded and loud with kids screaming, or our food is horrible.  But it was great.  The food was great, the service was great, everything was amazing!  (Although I think they knew what was in store for me later!).  I didn’t even get sneezy at Petland when we went there.  It was just a fantastic day. I don’t even think I wore green.

We bought chicken today. I am absolutely over the moon.  I might have gone a bit overboard with the chicken-buying.  We bought A LOT, but hey, it’s been WEEKS since I’ve had chicken.  Or real meat for that matter I think.  Anyways.. CHICKEN!

So right after I wrote that blog post I got a call.  I’m going for an interview tomorrow afternoon!  If all goes well, then I’ll be putting in my two weeks notice tomorrow night.  If not, then oh well, there are other things out there for me!

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As a side note that I MUST mention.. do NOT, I repeat do NOT wash heavy knit sweaters in the sink.  It may save me laundry money, but it’s taking forever to dry! I mean.. almost 24 hours! sheesh!

Ronald Jenkees

I found this on You Tube and he’s amazing!